Oh, what a marvelously man-made beach we have here! A sandy quadrangle, neatly cordoned off by concrete, with a little plant to keep it company. It's like a little slice of suburbia, right on the coast. And who needs natural characteristics when you can have a perfectly uniform beach, right? This is the beach for those who like their nature to be controlled and predictable. It's like a beach-themed amusement park, but without any of the fun.